I have never done hard drugs. Weed is the hardest stuff I have ever done. I have watched documentaries, TV Shows, read books about the topic but yet I have never done it. Based on this, I have come to the conclusion that a former freind of mine is a hard core drug. I came to this relaization when I left Korea and I have found a way to say it.
My freind gives you amazing highs in Korea. You could be talking about the life cycle of a fly and he will ask you questions. He will be engaged in the conversation. He will sit with you and talk to you for hours about this. If you have been away, he will whine about how he hasn’t seen you in a long time with words like “I miss you” “I want to see you” and so on. You may brush these off, but they still make you feel good. Sometimes they make you feel incredable depending on your state of mind at the time he says them. If you have a problem in Korea, he will help you there is no doubt about that.
With this comes the lows. If there is a fuck, you no longer exsist in that period of time. You are not that important. You get pushed aside for the night (cause the fuck will disappear in the morning). You get a bit bored, drink a bit more and have a real hang over in the morning. If he wants to do something he wants you there, if you want to do something he will have to check with the fuck to find out. The fuck becomse more important to you. The fuck who doesn’t care about him, doesn’t enjoy him but well he is a fuck. He will treat the fuck like he treats you, with the same interest the same expressions and such. The fuck will go away, the freind will not understand why the fuck went away then he will forget about the fuck and wonder what you are doing. If you call him on this, well you are just being selfish because you don’t care about him like the fuck.
The highs are amazing in a country where people don’t seem to be interested in you. The lows are crushing for the same reasons. I have learned to treat this freind like a drug. If I was having a good time at RMT, I wouldn’t contact him. I wouldn’t go to him. He would call and say “are you coming to jongno” and I would say “maybe not sure yet” He would whine and I would spend the night at RMT because happiness is better than a high.
This is going to sound bad, but when I left Korea, I decided that I needed to go into rehab. With rehab, you have to cut off all contact or I may get addicted again. I miss him yes, but I hear that drug atticts miss drugs too but in the end they are better off.